Every time I go to post on here… I have no idea where to start or what to say…..

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I have been terrible to you. Forgive me for neglecting you and writing half assed posts every couple months to make you feel better when you deserve weekly updates at least. You and I both know you deserve much better. So, for Christmas I will do my best to be more faithful to you. I am also going to make the same promise to our dear friend ‘Camera’ because you know how she can be sometimes… she does not like to be left out. I will start to carry Camera around more so I can better document my life for others. Likewise, I will write more to you about my days – regardless of how boring they seem or what people might think. You are mine and you are all I need. Who cares what they say – we belong together. For better or worse, through the good times and the bad. Sickness and health. Bad grammar and sassy posts that I immediately wish I could take back after posting…

So dear blog of mine. I am back. I will try to do better. Sorry for the way I have treated you in the past. I am a changed woman and hope to prove that to you.

Merry  Christmas Blog,

I love you.

I Want to be Alseep

I am having a really hard time keeping up with this lovely blog of mine…. between working 2 jobs, having a social life, and no internet for a couple weeks, you probably understand why I haven’t been so aggressive in my blogging.

So while the rest of the world is off watching Harry Potter I am laying in bed unable to sleep. Which makes absolutely no sense seeing as I am exhausted and want nothing more than to be in the middle of a deep sleep wandering around in dream world. Unfortunately, my brain refuses to find rest and is keeping me hostage in reality.

It is as if my mind refuses to shut off. There are so many things I want answers to right now, but I am being forced to wait. And if you were not aware, I am a very impatient person. I prefer to have everything figured out and talked out right away so as to not have any confusion. Which in general works quite well, but at this particular moment in time will not work and I am going to have to deal with it. Waiting feels like torture.

On the plus side, it gives me time to weigh the pros and cons. To figure out where exactly I stand in this particular situation as well as the right words to say when the time comes… if it comes…

I have a feeling this sounds mysterious.

It is.

For now.

But may be resolved.

Or it may not.

The exact reason I am not asleep.

Life Update!

I neglect this wonderful thing a lot.
Sorry.
Some people have been requesting an update on my life… so here goes….
I am about to switch up my job a little for the summer and run the day camps which i think will be really fun and a nice change. I haven’t worked with kids for a while now and am really looking forward to it. There is something about being around kids that really helps you feel more grounded. I admire theie brutal honesty and ability to spot insincerity all-the-while trusting you with everything they have. So although it will be exhausting, it will be a ton of fun and I get to be outside and go swimming everyday… how can that not be fun!? And I haven’t even begun to talk about the awesome people I will be working with every day! I am excited!
I am also…. drum roll please….. moving out! Woot! I am finally leaving the nest and moving in with one of my closest friends Shannon and 2 other lucky (or not lucky… depending on the way you look at it….) guys. As we like to put it, we have an respectable house in a respectable neighborhood. We also have a BBQ and a backyard… just in time for summer
And I don’t think I have ever mentioned Shannon… but she is honestly one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I am so blessed to have her in my life. I can’t wait for this new journey in life… and I know we are going to drive each other crazy, but I also know we are going to have a lot of fun and it will be a great experience.
What else… I love summer. I love being outside and I love the sun. Today when I went for a run I was thinking about life and how beautiful it really is. There is always so much in life that we can get caught up in and it is so important to be able to take a step back and look at where we were and how far we’ve come.
Over the past year so much has changed in my life, I have grown and learned so many lessons… some more than once, but I think I got it now… and I am excited for what ever else comes my way.
That’s about it for now. I will post some pics of the move and the house once the time comes… which is so soon and there is so much to do!
LOVE!!
XOXOXO

Kisses From The Sun

The shift in weather has put a bounce in every ones step and a golden glow is starting to make its way to the skin that dares to be exposed after another cold winter. I love summer. I love how it can change peoples attitudes and make us into generally nicer people. I love the energy that I have and the eagerness to start the day and go on adventures with my friends. And I love how it also signifies a newness.
I am turning 22 right away. Still not sure how I feel about it. Not that I have much choice in the matter but it’s an odd feeling – growing up. It’s an adventure and as my friend always says “Life is a Beautiful Struggle”
Some days seem impossible and getting out of a bed is the greatest achievement the day has in store, but somehow, summer makes us all a little stronger, a little bolder, and a little more wild.
I look forward to this summer and I hope you all enjoy it!

Top 10

Top 10 Things I am Looking Forward Too:

1 ) Seeing My Mom! (Less than a week!!)
2 ) Completing the 1st year of my degree
3 ) Summer Activities
4 ) Reaching my first goal weight ( 10 lbs away!!)
5 ) My Birthday
6 ) My classes next year at school
7 ) Traveling more
8 ) Fedora Fridays
9 ) Taking my camera out again
10 ) Going to Hot Yoga again

[Clearly I am once again avoiding my studies so I thought I would focus on things I am looking forward to once I am done these exams... I might do another Vlog soon, maybe tonight!]

YaLiLaLa

In one week, approx. I will be en route to see my momma. WEEEEE!!!! This is exciting news.
More exciting news is the fact that I am almost done my first year of university. WOOT WOOT!!!
This year has flown by! Classes are done and I am just studying for my exams. I only have 3 this term with makes life a little less stressful. All my papers are done and I feel like I actually learned a lot this year. Not so much in Psych, that will all start next term, but I learned how to write research papers with page length requirements and not 1500 words or less… but I learned how to write them without wanting to jump off a cliff or throw a computer, so I call that success.
I also learned the art of being a student again. It’s been so long and I forgot how much work it is!!! They don’t teach everything in the book, sometimes they don’t even use the text and you wonder why you spent $150.00 on it… but then ask questions from that book and you realize that maybe you should have cracked open that expensive stack of paper…
I also learned that everyone just wants a friend. For some reason I was worried I wouldn’t make any friends… but everyone is [generally] reeeaaally nice. Given, some of them think it’s weird if you don’t want to go out and party on a tuesday, because it’s tuesday… but still… it’s all good.
All in all, it was a stressful but well worth it experience and instead of dreading this next year coming up, I am excited and ready to get my hands dirty.

You couldn’t deny it, even if you tried with both hands. – the red queen

Today… I feel somewhat constrained.
Spring was dangled before us for such a short time and now has been ripped away and replaced with… snow.
…
I stayed home today. I feel a little melancholy, but I think that’s just cause there is no sunshine out today and I am studying. It is taking everything in me to maintain my concentration and focus on my school work. There is less than a month of classes.
And in true Brittany fashion, I want to just quit it all and move on to something more exiting. I want to find a room, cover all the walls in paper and just paint. Paint and pray and worship and draw and dance and knit and write and explore my mind and the heart of God. I don’t want to write a convincing paper on ‘How God can exist when there is so much evil in the world’ because I don’t know. I only know He is good and He is loving and He wants to show us that… but I don’t know how to convince a philosophy professor of that in 1500 words. I don’t want to study the ways to design an experiment. I don’t want to study anymore.
But…
I know God has called me to pursue this degree and these trivial steps I have to take that seem to have no relation to my study are going to help me in the long run. Even though I am stressed out and over tired, God is good. He is faithful. He will carry me through this and if I still feel like finding a room and filling it with the arts of my life… I can wait until this summer…

Your Love Never Fails

God is good.
So good.
His love never fails. Ever.
Even when I ran in the opposite direction of Him, seeking independence and proving that I can take care of myself better than He could. His never-ending love remained, waiting for me to realize I need Him more than I know.
And now that I know this, and have come crawling back to Him on my knees, His grace has covered me and I feel whole. I feel like myself again. I didn’t realize how far off track I went, but now that I am back in the knowledge of His love and power I never want to leave.
This afternoon, on my way home from church, my mind was racing with a million thoughts… but the one that stuck with me is that I am falling in love for the first time with God. In the past, I said I loved God, and I did, I do, but have I ever been ‘in love’ with Him? No. Not until now.
There are so many uncertainties and stresses in life. So many ways to get hurt and disappointed and confused. There are countless lies to get caught up in and promises that will be broken. People will betray us, but the love of God is never-ending. He is always faithful. He is good. He is love, so I find comfort in knowing that I am learning what it means to fall in love from Him – it’s creator. My creator. My God. My beloved.
Life is so beautiful and I am happy. Everyday is a completely new journey with new struggles and new discoveries. I am learning to take it one step at a time and falling in love with Him even more than I did the day before.

WEDNESDAY!!!!

First things first, I feel I should receive a gold star for even making it school today. I am SO sick. Still. This will be month numero tres that I have been infected by what I now refer to as “the plague”. I did miss monday, but that can be blamed on my cough syrup and the fact that in a half-sleep stupor I took faaar more than recommended and slept through all alarms. Thank you codeine…
Secondly, whilst at my wonderful school that smells like sweet and sour sauce when you get close to The Far Side (college bar/ hang out for people), I was walking towards the library to print off a paper when I looked at my feet and saw (you will not believe this- maybe you will… stranger things have been reported) a literal trail of bacon. Not just one or two pieces, but at least six. I stopped counting. Seriously. My questions then are… where did it come from? Who is walking around with that much bacon? And WHY!?!? are they dropping it on the floor? Was it a trap? Was someone lost and trying to make sure they knew how to get back to where ever they were??(which was obviously the pay phones… since that is where the trail started) I thought about it all day. I found it odd. It was a considerable amount of bacon to be just lying on the floor.
Thirdly, I should be working on an assignment, but I really have no idea where to begin with it. It’s due right away so I should be figuring it out soon.
I recently bought Bethel Churches new album ‘Be Lifted High’ and it is aaaaaaahhhmaaaaaaayyyyzzzing. Obviously. Everything that comes out of that church is incredible. My favorite song is called ‘I Will Exalt’. This may have something to do with the fact that it has Amanda Falk and I think she is such a joy to be around. I got to work with her a couple summers ago at Eagles Nest Ranch because my campers were in the worship camp and she was leading. It was pretty cool. They loved it and learned so much and were so encouraged by her, so I definitely respect her and am so happy to see her success. I love every other song though as well.
I don’t have much else of any worth to say… and I am pretty sure that none of this was ground breaking, but it’s my blog and I will post when I want to. So I did… now I am going to attempt my assignment.